Playing the Lottery

I thought I'd come out and confess that I've started playing the lottery. They started featuring the Powerball, one of the biggest multistate lottery in the US.

But that's not what got me started. What got me started is a list of instructions to follow should you win. I hadn't actually thought of the logistics of winning the lottery. I couldn't find any copyright concerns and the website was called "Rotten Library," so I'm going to go ahead and publish the list here for you:

   Strangely enough, winning millions in the lottery can be the worst thing that ever happened to you. The money can strain relationships with your spouse and relatives. It can turn your friends and neighbors into leeches. It can ruin your privacy. It can cause security problems, threaten your physical safety. Paradoxically, it can lead you down the road to bankruptcy. And, of course, it can also turn you into a raging asshole. 

Tips for the Latest Instant Millionaire
[Bear in mind that none of us is a lawyer or a lottery millionaire, so these recommendations are anything but authoritative. Caveat emptor, you rich bastard.]It's great to be rich, but fame is a bitch. So your primary mission is to claim the money without divulging your identity or having a mental breakdown. Here's how to do it:

1. Don't tell anyone. The single most important rule for maintaining sanity after winning the lottery is: Do everything you can to keep your precious anonymity intact. Of course that means keeping your goddamned mouth shut. Don't share the news with your friends, neighbors, coworkers, or family. Resist even the urge to tell your spouse or significant other, at least for the time being. Otherwise you will have forever blown your one chance at being anonymous. You can always spill the beans later, after all the excitement has died down.
2. Don't sign the ticket. After you write your name on that ticket, you might as well call up and announce the news to your local TV stations and newspapers. Remember that the state lottery commission will publicize the identity of every claimant. Toss the ticket into a clean Ziploc bag (to avoid spills, etc.) and temporarily stash it someplace away from excessive heat, sunlight, pets, children, roommates, coworkers, etc. Make sure it's someplace safe that you won't forget.
3. Act casual. Maintain your normal routine. Continue to attend work, school, church, social functions, etc. Whatever's typical for you. When people ask you what's up, refer to rule number one.
4. Make a few photocopies. At your earliest opportunity, take a trip to a 24-hour Kinko's around 2am when nobody's around and make six copies of the ticket, both front and back. Use one of the self-serve machines and take any and all bad copies with you (i.e. leave none in the trash). And before you leave, doublecheck to make sure you didn't leave the original in the machine.
5. Rent a safe-deposit box. Contact your bank and see if they have any vacant safe deposit boxes, tell them you're going on a trip and need to store some documents for a few months. Make a point of asking them how much it costs, even though you couldn't care less. You're trying to keep up appearances. When you go down to the bank in person to open your box, you will probably need some ID and your bank card. Bring the ticket, along with some other (fake) papers. Don't show them the ticket, obviously. Loose lips sink ships. Stash the ticket in the box and put the box key on your keyring. Don't lose the key.
6. Open a blind trust. Hire a tax attorney. Once you're a client, the lawyer is legally bound to maintain your confidentiality. Tell them you want to open a blind trust in order to claim the lottery prize as an anonymous trustee. Provide three photocopies of your ticket. All contact with the lottery commission will be made through your lawyer.
7. Contact a financial planner. Rich people don't tend to stay that way without a little planning. If you have the choice between annual payments and a single large payout, you should consider the big jackpot. It's less money total, but it's probably about the same as the annuity if you take the lump sum and invest it in interest-bearing savings bonds. However, the single large payout may incur a higher tax rate. Ask your tax experts.
8. Tie up any financial loose ends. No reason to procrastinate now. Pay all those traffic fines and parking tickets. Catch up on alimony or child support payments. Settle any debts. Instruct your financial planner to scrub those black marks off your credit score, but don't cancel your credit cards -- that'll screw up your rating. And don't think it won't matter anymore. It matters.
9. Draft or update your last will and testament. If there were ever a time for estate planning, it's now.

I read that, got excited about the lottery, but then thought the same thing I always do: it's a waste of money. The odds are simply so far against me that they are not worth trying. What finally pushed me to purchase my first lottery ticket was realizing two things:

1. Tickets are only $1. Seriously... Is there anything in this world that is actually only $1 anymore? My god is that cheap, and it lets me think about having fun with the logistics of winning the lottery. 
2. I was married in Las Vegas. I love gambling. Maybe spending $1 a week isn't so bad. After all, that will come to a whopping total of $52 at the end of the year. Perhaps I'll skip a fancy meal once a year with Alicia. 

So, I've got my Powerball ticket posted on the pinboard above our desk. I'm using my cell phone as a random number generator, because if anyone's going to generate some random numbers, it's me. I'm actually considering switching to a smaller state lottery. The odds of winning the Powerball are so low, it's almost no fun. I'd take $500,000 just as happily, ya know? My only complaint about the smaller lotteries is that it happens every day. I can't afford that! 

If I take the advice above, you probably won't ever find out I've won it. Sorry! Wish me luck anyway! 

25 Years, just a few lessons

When I told Alicia the subject of this blog post, she laughed at me. Told me I was cute. Pfft... I may be young, but I could have wisdom. Even if it's just a tiny bit. Here's a few things I've figured out in no particular order:

1. Don't go cheap, especially with umbrellas. In Minnesota, umbrellas are kinda a novelty. After all, how much rain can you really get on yourself between a building and your car? Here in New York, if it rains, you get soaked without an umbrella.

Resist the urge to purchase one of those $3 umbrellas sold on the street. They are always black, and look like this:

 Photo stolen from www.dalesorenson.net

It's rare that many cheap purchases actually add up to an expensive purchase, but these $3 umbrellas will do it twice over. They last approximately one rain storm, and a decent umbrella maxes out around $20.  What the $3 doesn't account for is the rain you'll get on you because of it's size, and the rain you'll get on yourself when it inevitably breaks and you are stuck without any protection. 

Don't go cheap on umbrellas... this lesson probably applies to many other things in life, but I'm too young and cheap to have found that out yet. 

2. If you want to enjoy something, don't start cheap. This is how I've learned to enjoy coffee, beer, scotch, cigars and vegetables. This tip is different from the first one, because there's nothing wrong with going cheap, especially on coffee. But you won't enjoy these things if you don't know what's good about them. If you've had the best of something, cheaper versions will remind you of that goodness. If you start cheap, there'll be nothing to really enjoy. 

3. Do some research before an interview. I got my job at City of Duluth because I had looked at their website before hand and brought it up. It really impressed them. I recently interviewed to be a bartender at a local bar. I don't know if I've got the job, but the exact same thing happened... I looked into the bar and brought that up during the interview. They loved me for it, at least that's how it seems. 

4. Flattery makes things better. I've gotten a lot of free things in this city by being nice. Now, I haven't tried being fake, and I haven't tried pushing for free. But I've certainly had very pleasant discussions talking to people who are helping me and these almost universally start with me complimenting.  

Example: I was going to Katz Deli to pick up some pastrami sandwiches to bring home for Alicia and I. I complimented the Katz guy and talked to him about his job. He asked about mine, and it was generally pleasant. He was a nice guy. If you've never been to Katz, you are given a ticket at the door. Every food server writes your charges on this ticket and you pay on your way out. This guy saw that I had already picked up french fries and told me they were on the house. He crossed out the total and just charged me for the sandwiches. 

Photo of Katz from commons.wikimedia.org

Do I think the Katz Deli sandwich carvers are the best on the planet? Maybe yes, maybe no. But it doesn't hurt to tell them that they do a fantastic job. 

5. Scoop the catbox and sweep every day. This one might be more specific than the others, but I do this while the coffee is brewing. It really makes a big difference.

Well, that's about all I can think of right now. Sorry these weren't grand sweeping lessons, like "Live life to the fullest!" These are just things I wish I would have known earlier. 

Grad School

It's time to announce it, I suppose: I've withdrawn from the Ph. D. program in Mathematics.

Don't worry, I feel good about it. I might return one day, but for now, I'm ready to stop being a student for a tiny bit.

This decision slowly came to me over the winter break. During the break, I took two weeks off from thinking about mathematics. I was happier during the break than I had been in as long as I could remember. Studying math had become a very large source of stress in my life.

Let me give you some history. I started grad school in September 2007. The math department hopes you'll complete your first round of exams within two years, one year ideally. I haven't. I took two tests, failed them both. I know why I failed, but I just didn't ever seem to get good enough to fill in the gaps that caused me to fail.

This past fall, someone finally told me "you need to know real analysis." I really hadn't studied it. I even prided myself in avoiding it during my undergraduate classes. So I've been at a serious disadvantage. In October, I resolved to start teaching it to myself. But all that did was bring about more stress. It was more that I needed to study, in addition to the classes I was taking and the classes I was learning. I still believe I could do it if I wanted to. But I don't want to kill myself over it anymore.

So here's where I am now. I will still be teaching at New York City College of Technology, at least for Spring 2010. I'm in the process of looking for a second job. And I'm happy.

Favorite Things

When I first made this blog, I created a sampling of things I liked along the bottom of the header of this blog. It's that strip of pictures of random things you can see directly below the title of this blog.

I just thought I'd share one my newest favorite things:




It's a clock from Ikea. I don't know how Ikea does it, but they are very good at pleasing me. I especially love it contrasting with the turquoise wall of our bedroom.

The clock actually has a lot of storage inside of it. It's a thin metal clock with a front panel that opens up. I've got no idea what to hide inside of it.

If your curious, those are Bucky Balls attached to the front. They are 216 rare earth magnets that stick to each other surprisingly well. I'm sure I'll post about those in the future.

A New Year, New Motivation!

Hello!

Well, I've been less than good writing here. For the new year, I've taken a step back from my blogging and Twittering and given it some thought. I realized that there are two walls that have stood in the way of me blogging:

The big one is picture posts. I know pictures are fun, but it's a hassle to take them, transfer them to the computer, load them onto the internet then finally format them on the blog. I had a policy of posting a picture with every post. I think that breaking this habit will make it easier to write a lot more! I'm hoping pictureless posts can be likened to letters home. I can keep everyone updated with what's going on and maybe sprinkle some photographs at my convenience.

Secondly, Twitter really ruined a lot of blog posts I would have normally written. I would "tweet" a tiny little snippet (that you used to be able to see on the right side of this blog), but then I would have no motivation to write about it later. So, for the new year, I'm going to cut Twitter out of the picture. It's probably a good idea, anyway. I don't need to make the personal details of my day to day life public knowledge!

I'm really going to give blogging again the old college try. Check back periodically to see how I do. Wish me luck!

New Look

Here's the new me:



Compare with the old me:



What's new? I've got new glasses and I've decided to forgo the beard.

It was quite nice shaving, actually. I haven't shaved with a standard razor since 2005~6. Up until about March, I'd been using (and loving) my Norelco Electric Razor. Around March of 2008, I decided the beard was for me.

Alicia likes the beard, but I wanted some smooth skin. The beard will most likely return, but not anytime soon (read: give me at least a week beardless).

Monday Morning

Alicia just went out the door, and it's 7am. I can't believe I've been getting up at 6am every morning (minus the weekends, of course). But it feels great. I'm already working, and there won't be any regrets today.

Last week feels like a phantom. I had Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off, and I feel as if I squandered them. I shouldn't feel that way, as I finally gave the apartment a good cleaning that was needed. I also corrected exams and relaxed. I guess I'm sorry to see it go.

The biggest disappointment was waking up on Monday to discover a cold. It was mostly gone by Thursday, and it is just barely lingering now. I can certainly blame my lazy week on the cold, but that doesn't make me feel any better. Oh well, it feels good to wake up healthy again.

But even if I'm not proud of last week, this week can certainly be redemption: I've got Wednesday and Thursday off. I know, I know, I can't believe how much time I've got off either. I've even got next week Monday off as well. Being a student is so lazy.

News, otherwise

I'm on my way home! I'll be in Minnesota Thursday through Tuesday. I've got my cell phone with me, feel free to give me a call: 347-260-6862. My time is pretty booked, but I'm sure I could say hi if you're around.

I've got at least three posts scheduled to be published while I'm in Minnesota. So check back to see what I've got coming.

After I'm back Tuesday, I'll have until Sunday to relax, as class starts Monday, August 25. I'll be right back into the teaching and learning mode.

Leaving T-Mobile Contract

I'm a frequent reader of the Consumerist, a consumer rights blog. I've learned a lot about what rights I have when I'm shopping and paying utilities, etc. I'm proud to say that with a good knowledge of the system, I've managed to get a great deal with my cell phone service.

One thing I've read about are Early Termination Fees (ETFs). These are fees assessed by your cell phone carrier for leaving before the contract expires. They are usually about $200, which prevents you from getting a free cell phone and then leaving your service one month later.

In early July, I read that T-Mobile was changing the price per text message. It was going from $0.15 to $0.20 a message, which constitutes a "material adverse affect." Basically, they've changed the contract I signed, which allows me to leave the contract without paying an ETF.

My contract wasn't scheduled to end until August of 2009, still a long time away. So getting out of my contract sounded nice. But I like T-Mobile. So I didn't really want to stop my cell phone service, just get out of my contract.

I called up T-Mobile and asked about my options. I wanted to switch from being under contract to paying month to month. They wouldn't let me out of the contract unless I ended my service. I've liked T-Mobile. Good service, good customer service. No real complaints. But here they were making me decide whether to leave or stay under contract. Sneaky.

So I started looking at my cell phone usage. I was paying $60.00 a month (including taxes) for Unlimited nights and weekends, unlimited calling from my home (using my wireless internet), and unlimited calling to five numbers of my choice. I also had 300 minutes to use any other time I wanted. Despite all this time to talk, I was usually only using about 150 minutes a month. Back when I talked to Alicia every night, I needed a lot of talking time. Now, not so much...

That's when it occurred to me: Why don't I use a prepaid cell phone? It just so happened that T-Mobile offered prepaid services. For $100, I can get 1000 minutes, which have a full year before they expire. If I use 150 minutes a month, $100 will last me over six months! That would have cost me $360 under contract.

So I called up T-Mobile to ask about prepaid services. They inform me that I can use my same phone number, use my same phone, and it would only take a few hours to change services. The only problem was that I was currently under a cell phone contract.

At this point, I smiled. I started uttering the magic words, "You've recently changed my contract, which had a material adverse affect..."

As of last week, I've got the same number, the same phone, and I'm still with T-Mobile. I can change services and get a new phone anytime I'd like because I'm not under contract, and I'm saving a ton of money.

I'd say I'm pretty happy.

P.S.: I've also started using Skype internet phone services. For $2 dollars a month, I can make unlimited calling over the internet using my computer. I can't receive calls, so I'll still use my cell phone for that. But I'm saving even more minutes a month using Skype. Yay!